Hi there Dog,
I’m so very sorry that it’s taken all this time to get back to you and your last letter. I feel so bad about it.
The fact is that me and Mum kinda forgot about your letter. She sends her apologies too and is very sorry for all this time that has gone by. She assured me that it will never happen again. (and I’m hoping that you’ll continue to write to me. )
So, to get on with this letter now. You wrote about your person and his girlfriend and her little dog, the “fluff. Sounds very much like the two of you have some serious issues.
I discussed your problem with my Aunt Annie and she suggested that you ‘sit on the blasted animal, accidentally’. I wasn’t so sure about that so my idea is that you sneak up on the fluff, when she’s sleeping, out in the yard, and when no one is looking, lift your leg and pee on it. That should teach the little so an so a lesson, what do you think about that?
Other than that these two ideas, as a cat, I’m stumped. Nothing else comes to mind. You may remember that I don’t get outside so I don’t have any cat friends or enemies. Other than that one time there was a cat outside my kitchen enclosure that I had ‘words’ with, I’ve never given it a second thought.
I do hope that these two ideas will give you something to think about and perhaps by using one of them, OR both of them, you can get to be the Alpha dog, again, with this little ‘fluff’. Do let me know what happens, please and I’ll be rooting for you in the hopes that you don’t get locked in the bedroom again.